My Village

The old adage that it takes a village to raise a child may not be true, but it is certainly a gift if you have it. After 11 years overseas, we have finally found our village. Our condo Dairy Farm Estate (sometimes called the "Farm") has a great blend of local and expat families. Lots of teachers and just good people. Over the last 3 years here I have forged friendships that I know will last a lifetime, they just will. Tonight I am off to attend a "book club" which is really an excuse to pretend we read, but I really did read this book and have a few laughs food and drink with these friends. One of the kids buddies just left after spending the afternoon playing at our house.

"Farm" Kids at the Lion Dance

I have been lucky enough to befriend Lisa and Sara-Jane. Karen, is our Julie McCoy planning activities for us as a group,. I could name them all, but they are just all part of this big huge group of people that I have come to appreciate more than I can say. This a group of loosely connected people, around 10 families, that do things together on a semi-regular basis. Our kids all hang out together and it is not unusual to find a group of us at the pool on a Sunday morning.

The Lions and kids trying to "steal" the Oranges in their mouths.

This group is wonderful, I feel comfortable leaving the kids with any of them, I feel like their kids are an extended family. None of us feels shy about bringing a kid in line if needed, or bandage a skinned knee and offer a hug when needed. The houses are almost always open, with kids running in and out. Sleep overs are common and even the young teens like to hang out with the littler kids (7-8). There is never an issue if SJ needs to have us watch her kids for a few hours, or if my kids are up at Lisa's while we run errands. Sure we gossip a bit, but we worry too. We miss those who move away and enjoy it when they return. This is really my village.

Last weekend the Farm's management committee had scheduled a lion dance for the Chinese New Year holiday and it was a great gathering of Farmies (my newly coined name for the group). Probably around 100 people gathered to watch the dance and enjoy the celebration, despite the 38 degree heat (that's 100 to those metrically challenged) and 99% humidity.

The next day we all piled into cars and set off for Sentosa beach for a relaxing morning by the Sea. All organized by our resident cruise director Karen "Julie McCoy" McD as part of her "birthday" weekend. There were about 7 families all in attendance.

There were so many kids and parents that it made the beach a real joy for all of us. Cara and I were able to walk and get a cup of coffee, leaving the kids in the care of our spouses. Karen needed to run a kid to the bathroom and was able to leave the other with us while we watched. Lisa brought her cousin "Vinnie" and we all played in the water, ate snacks and enjoyed the morning.

One of the hardest parts of returning back to the States (which we are not planning on doing soon, but will someday) will be leaving this village, but that is sometimes part and parcel of the Expat life. Leaving and moving come with the territory, knowing that makes this group even more special as we all recognize the fact that we all may leave soon. While it may not take a village, having this one has enriched my life in so many ways.

Sundays at the "farm"

Over the last few months a neat little tradition has started here on the "farm" as I now call our Condo Estate. It is either the farm or "club med"... anyway...

Every Sunday, around 9:30 or 10 a bunch of moms and some dads end up down at the pool with our kids. We swim and chit chat, the kids play together and we have coffee and snacks by the pool. It has become a tradition, a ritual and it is wonderful. It is a pleasure to spend our Sundays, relaxing with friends and enjoying the fact that we have a great community.

It is so easy to rush through the weekend stressing about the fact that we have so much to do (case in point I am on a plane on Monday for an emergency meeting) It is so much more important to slow down and recognize that these days are special. The connections we share with our children are what matters and work and the to do lists can wait, once and a while anyway~

What do you do special on weekends? Is it part of your family rituals?

Life at Dairy Farm- The Pig Stye Edition

 

This just pisses me off. We get to look at this out our Kitchen window.


Rather than be able to see our kids, playing in the woods, some inconsiderate cretin dumps his trash out the window. We have complained and the managment cleaned it off yesterday. This morning there was new crap. What is it about Singapore that makes people think that dumping shit out of windows is acceptable behaviour? I see it is HDBs and I see it in Condos. Now before anyone takes this as a politically incorrect post, please note... we pay thousands a month to live in a nice condo. A condo if we bought that would cost over a million US (no we are not buying because the price is ridiculous), but the point is for that much money you would think people would realize that window ledges are not your FLIPPIN Garbage Can. Seriously, open the Garbage Chute that is located in the same room from which you through your crap (a mere 3 feet from your window) and through it AWAY.


This practice is really linked to the Singapore Kiasu mentality. The Kaisu mentality can be summed up as follows: I am the most important. You are not important. I am racially superior, so I am forced by the father of my country to live with you, even though I hate you and talk about you behind your back. I force my kids to study until 1am and then get them up at 6am so they will test well, but not learn. The goal is only to improve my status. How much will you give me if I have another child, if "no enough" no child. It is all about me being number one and you, well, you are not.

Kiasu behaviour is the worst thing about Singapore, the thing that I am only faced with once and awhile. But when I am faced with it, I long for a rude American, a surly French or a filthy Thai city any day over the one I live in. These cities don't put on airs or pretend to be anything more than what they are. Singapore has to force its people to be nice in order to keep up the image (dare I remind people that we have to have "smile" campaigns in order to teach civility?

Pigs. Just Clean up after yourselves. I don't through crap in your yard. Don't do it in mine.