Lost Innocence

Day6a
Originally uploaded by Farflungcraft.

In the Journal your Christmas class, we were asked to do a journal entry about Christmas past. And then to think of both a good and a bad memory.

For me, it was looking through some old pictures that the good memories came flooding back. I looked at the pictures of three matching dresses, the huge tree... with the homemade popcorn garland. The smiles on our faces... the anticipation of not just the presents under the tree, but the dinner, the goodies, the snacks. Often the day would be spent with cousins, grandparents. Family. The day was joy. pure and simple.

My memory of a bad Christmas memory was probably one where I wanted a Breyer horse (you can see part of the page over on my Flickr account). Anyway, as I grew older, I started to snoop. I wanted to know what I was getting. I still to this day have little patience, but I can at least control myself now. So, I snooped. I found the horse I had asked for. I was so happy. But then Christmas came, and the horse didn't. I pouted, I moped... after a while mom or dad asked me what was wrong and I said I had not gotten the one gift I really really wanted. Well, a few minutes later, it came out... I am not sure if the gift was forgotten, if it was purchased to be a birthday present... but I do recall that while I did get what I wanted in the end, it felt sort of hollow. I knew that Santa didn't exist (I was probably in 6th/7th grade) but...really the magic of Christmas was gone. Gone based on my selfishness, my desires, my impatience.

I hope my kids don't face that. I hope that we can create a Christmas that is not just about material things. A Christmas that is about love-and joy-and family. A Christmas that puts "presents" lower on the list than joy. Very hard to do in a material society. But my goal nonetheless.

Simply,

K