Monday, June 26, 2006

Feeling anything but simple

I am really struggling. Work is always there, lots to do, little if no motivation... business is struggling, trying to find a path with the business that is workable. Family is arguing over money. I need to go back and read YMOYL again. I know that the hours I spend really do cost me "money" in terms of my life energy. I sit on the couch at the end of the day and I can't feel like playing with them, I know I am in a down mood. Part of my own deal, I am probably borderline Manic Depressive. More Manic than Depressed, but this is a down mode for me. I hate it, I hate feeling so helpless. I hate having hundreds of ideas that I want to see go somewhere, but don't get further than just dreams.

Need to find a way to reconnect with my core. My values. Need to be able to spend some time with the kids-without yelling at them-or trying to avoid crying just because.

Need to get back into those things that make me uniquely me. Time to simplify-time to find what works for me and what doesn't... and time to post more often as I reconnect.

Friday, June 09, 2006

In a funk

So, I was going great the last few weeks. Feeling happy, creative juices flowing. In a groove with keeping on top of work, personal life. Jeff started his new job at Chemoil. Left the house... I was on top of the world. I have my office back to myself. I organized and cleaned my craft section of the room. I brainstormed some biz ideas...then put pen to paper, and while my goal with the biz extension was not to get rich, but rather, to promote my (and a few other awesome gals) products, I am not sure the $ pencils out. I am determined to move forward to find a way of making people aware of my awesome products, without spending my children's tuition money, but today I am in a funk.

It is raining here, really really raining, thunder and lighting strikes out my window. cold wet weather (ok yes it is "cold" for Singapore.) Probably adds to the overall funk. Which really it is too bad. I had a couple of great days. Hooked up with some old friends that I have let get away from me. Saw my best British friend, dear Steve from London, hooked up with my bestest pal from McMinnville, now in Fallon NV, talked with her for over an hour on the phone. Had a great lunch with Elvira.... so maybe it is a let down. So, I am cranking the black-eyed peas... if that doesn't work, I will rock out to some Foo... see if that works.
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