D has started to struggle with writing, well let me rephrase, the struggle has always been there but now it is really manifesting in tantrums and inability to complete his work. Some of this may be a self esteem issue, some may be linked to his language problems ( I am assuming here) but it is frustrating for him and heartbreaking for me when I can 't be there to help. K on the other hand is dealing with the normal 6 year old strife of having ghost stories being shared among friends and sleepless nights thereafter. again, the travel I have been doing leaves me away during these times and it kills me to know that Jeff is having to be a super dad and do this without me.
I am near the point of crashing though, I can feel it. A big key is my lack of focus. I am scattered all over, I am stiff and sore physically, I am tired and run down, I cry over the silliest things (like not having a pair of shorts to wear last Sunday). I have three more weeks before we run away for a short vacation. I am trying my best to make it to the trip well and healthy, happy and content. I do not want to spend my whole vacation crabby and out of sorts.
What I am doing is trying to re-connect with those things i find important. I am slowing down where i can, taking time for myself, working and reading things that make me feel better. I am designing a plan for my life that includes healthy choices from diet and exercise to spiritual and emotional health as well. I am still working on the details, but I am going to start to swim again and meditate every morning.
Baby steps, yes for sure, but as the often quoted Gandhi stated ....
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
Until I can be the change, I am still looking forward to this