Today I feel

Like crap. That horrible parent type crap when something happens to your child that you can't control. Declan has been sick recently and it sucks because he is pretty much a trooper, but sometimes it just gets him down. Last weekend, when he said his face hurt we went through the "is it his teeth?" routine. (For those who don't know Declan has had major dental issues for a 5 year old that stems back to more bad parenting and bottle mouth, followed by knocking out part of his teeth) So, we looked in his mouth and didn't see anything, but he still had gunky eyes which and a stuffy nose which to me spelt sinuses.

So, we took him to the doctor, who also looked at his ears, eyes, and nose. He also looked in his mouth when I told him Declan said it was his face that hurt... but we didn't see anything wrong with his mouth. So, we got a weeks worth of antibiotics, eye drops, nose drops, anti-inflammatory and general sinus medicine to get rid of the gunky eyes and sinus problem. Last night after a week of antibiotics, I looked in his mouth and saw the tell tale signs of an abscessed tooth. Probably the antibiotics made it better, not worse, but the only option on a Sunday in Singapore is to pack up the kid and camp outside of a dentist's office until they open.

Suspicions confirmed a tooth, in fact both front teeth which we have worked so hard to save over the last 3 years were both loose and one was abscessed. The teeth were both dead already, but it is just so hard to look at my beautiful boy and know those teeth have to come out. Of course this goes right into my own personal issues with dentistry and my own issues with losing teeth....(LONG STORY). SO, out they came. I feel like such a failure as a mother. I know there is nothing we could do. We took him for regular checkups, he brushes 2 times a day and we are trying really hard to keep his teeth clean. But, I guess the damage was done long ago.

Declan was such a trooper though, hardly a cry when they pulled his teeth. But I am crying. I feel like I failed my boy. I know that is not the truth, he hardly seems worse for the wear, within a half hour he was back to normal watching a movie (Happy Feet), but I wonder as he grows, how I am going to deal with the other knocks, breaks and bruises he goes through.

hard day today.