Wednesday, February 17, 2010


When I first found myself pregnant with Declan, I knew what kind of parent I wanted to be. I still want to be that kind of parent. I don't get there all the time, I try, but I have some of my own issues that keep butting into my goal to be kind and gentle. I tend to be grumpy, short, quick to anger and patience, well it may be a virtue, but one I really struggle with. I look at all of the blogs were it seems that every one is a perfect parent, the kids are creative and do all sorts of artsy things. The kids eat 100% organic foods and would never touch a packet of Kraft mac and cheese, even if offered. Coke and cookies are unheard of in the home, it is organic arrowroot crackers and homemade lemon water. And the kids are perfect.

But, they aren't. The mothers aren't. While the blogs are lovely, they don't always reflect real life (which is one reason I love the Pioneer Woman, her kids seem to be pretty real life to me as the wallow in muck and mud, just look at her fridge in this post and you will see what I mean). I have friends who throw down terms like active parenting and organic lifestyles. They ban all processed food from their homes, but I know as soon as those kids hit the neighbors the first thing into the mouth is an oreo or a glass of rootbeer. I know these mom's get upset and angry, I have even seen some of them lose their temper. I guess when it happens I have to sit back and smile, a bit of schadenfreude I know, but I already told you I have issues! But the point here is that I know that as much as I do have work to become a better parent, I need to temper myself and my emotions, I have done Okay so far.

My basic philosophy is first and foremost to raise gentle and kind kids. Kids that appreciate the things that they have to share with others, to take note of what they see, to eat well and healthful. To be thankful for the world and the opportunities they have been given. To understand that by the grace of God, or the luck of the karmic draw, they have been born into an upper middle class family that is educated and has opportunities as a result of that status. Elitist, no, just realistic. I know that the kids have a better chance statistically of being educated and upper middle class because we are.

So, week before last in a situation of a very bad, horrible no good day, I flew to KL for a business meeting that unbeknownst to me was cancelled (or I wasn't registered) what ever. I was tired, cranky, suffering from Jet Lag. I called home to bitch at the situation with Jeff and talk to the kids to just get some touchstone back home. I was told by Delcan, that he had purchased me a gift while on a school field trip. He bought his sister one too. Not because he was told to, but because he is a kind, gentle and giving boy, minus those times he is on Wii.
I came home to this boy and this gift. Guess while my house may be a mess, I travel too much and I lose my temper way too fast, I must have done something right. All parents question the ability to parent. we all question if we are doing it right, if you have kids that love you, you are doing something right too!

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